Lady Liberty Marries Mr. Transit
Thousands of people flocked to the NY International Auto Show at the Javits Center on Saturday. In the midst of it all, Lady Liberty ended her 100 year “spectacularly combustible love affair” with the automobile. Lady Liberty said, "Frankly, this relationship has just gotten to be much more work than it's worth. My health, liberty and freedom have suffered greatly, and now I hope that my new relationships will finally give me security and happiness.” Then Reverend Billy officiated her marriage to "Mr. Transit" and the Stop Shopping Gospel Choir sang in celebration.
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<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman">[music]</font> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Speaker:</i> [00:08]
I come to the Auto Show every year. </font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Speaker:</i> [00:10]
The cars are new and hybrid and there’s a lot nice new cars. </font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Speaker:</i> [00:17]
Cars, it’s all about cars. We’re in the Mustang Club.
It’s more than a hobby, it’s a lifestyle. We live, breathe,
eat cars. When they put me six feet under, that’s when I stop. </font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Reverend Billy:</i>
[00:28] The Auto Show is like the pentagon of automobile. It’s
not just a little gas station. It’s a gathering of the merchandising
of this thing that we’re surrounded with, these metal and glass bubbles
that poison us, chase us down, make us poison the atmosphere, go to
war.</font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman">[music]</font> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Reverend Billy:</i>
[00:51] We are here today to celebrate the sacred ritual of marriage,
the marriage between the American Automobile and Lady Liberty.
Do you, Lady Liberty, take the American Automobile as your loving husband
after being in love with him for 100 years?</font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Lady Liberty:</i>
[01:26] No. </font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Reverend Billy:</i>
[01:29] She says that she wants her freedom. Mr Alternative Transportation
is stealing the heart of Lady Liberty. </font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman">[applause]</font> <br>
</p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Reverend Billy:</i>
[01:44] Now Lady Liberty can walk and bicycle and take light rail and
mass transit.</font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman">[applause]</font> <br>
</p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Reverend Billy:</i>
[01:52] Don’t you drive. Stop driving.</font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman">[music]</font> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Speaker:</i> [02:10]
By really taking it right to the source, I think we did a great thing
today.</font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Speaker:</i> [02:15]
Amen. </font></p>
<p> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman">[music]</font> <br></p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman"><i>Reverend Billy:</i>
[02:19] I’m so glad to be invited to speak today at the church of
the automobile show. Amen, hallelujah. </font> <br>
</p>
<p><font size="3" face="Times New Roman">[music]</font></p>
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