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Veronica Moss Visits Times Square

She's back!  The woman you love to hate (and hate not to love) Veronica Moss, a Washington, D.C. lobbyist for - ahem! - the Automobile User Trade Organization (A.U.T.O.) In this "chapter", she's getting her first gander ever at the new pedestrian-friendly Times Square and she invited Streetfilms along to record her virgin journey.

Naturally since she advocates for cars for a living with her every breath, her viewpoints are bound to rankle some of those in the livable streets camp.  Here are a few splendiforous musings as she reminisced about the "old" Times Square - where visitors "had to fight" for every last inch of space:

  • "Pedestrians are cystic acne on the teenage forehead of this city."
  • "I used to feel this wonderful sense of being totally overwhelmed and being displaced when I walked through Times Square.  And that's how it should feel."

Of course, that's nothing new for Ms. Moss, who first appeared on Streetfillms a few months ago in an "exclusive" interview to let us know how she feels about cyclists and pedestrians.

[music] Veronica Moss: [0:03] Pull it together, Veronica. Pull it together. Pull it together. [breathes heavily]

[0:13] We're standing just around the corner from the newly improved Times Square. I am horrified by the events that have transpired, and I'm about to see their disastrous effects.

[0:28] Oh, my God! Oh, this is disgusting! Oh, my God! This is the crossroads of the world. Where are the roads? They've turned it into a playground.

[0:43] This is not Italy. This is not a piazza.

[0:50] Look at all this space. Look at all this wasted space. They could put an office building here. They could put a car dealership here, a parking lot, something.

[1:02] Oh, my heart is warmed. People sitting. People talking. People enjoying one another's company. If you want to see that, you can watch TV. A shrub? Really? See, someone kicked a chair over. They don't even appreciate what they've been given. They're going to destroy it. They're going to wreck it.

[1:23] What used to be so perfect about Times Square was that people were relegated to the narrow sidewalk. If they wanted to be here, they really had to fight for it. They had to shove one another out of the way, and they had to hurt one another.

[1:37] Here we are, in a place where cars have been forbidden. And they're making money off them right there.

[1:44] That's a happy car. You know when they used to put your dog down, when you were a kid, and say that they were sending it to a farm? That's the farm for the car.

[1:54] Here's the real problem. This sort of environment fosters spontaneous interaction between human beings. There she is. Ooh! Oh, what I wouldn't give to be in that expedition right now. Damn, that is one sassy car. Pedestrians are cystic acne on the teenage forehead of this city.

Look at that sign: [2:16] "No left turn." Statistics have shown that it's actually sped up traffic. But, but, look at the cars. They're crying out for some love, and just a sense of space and of freedom.

[2:33] "Do not enter." "Do not enter." Such harsh words.

[2:40] OK, turn. Turn in. You can turn in. You can. This is all that's keeping you. Don't you understand? You're complicit in your own oppression. Ignore the sign. Just turn in.

[2:52] I used to feel this wonderful sense of being totally overwhelmed and displaced when I walked through Times Square. And that's how it should feel. Now I feel like I can walk slowly. And, it's not good. It's just not good.

[music]

Veronica: [3:16] I'm comfortable. What's happening?



Clarence Eckerson, Jr. has been making fantastical transportation media in NYC since the late 1990s. He's never had a driver's license and never will.

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  • Alice B

    I just can't stop watching this!!

  • http://www.biketemple.org Amos

    Oh my god, it looks terrible! :) Great job!

  • Andrew

    Hilarious. Brilliant!

  • http://www.livablestreets.com/people/Green_Idea_Factory Todd Edelman

    Cuter and better-written and acted than last time... keep up the good work! BUT let's hope that Ms. Moss doesn't give in to "comfort" until there are many (many) more street improvements in NYC, and not just in Manhattan.

  • Rob

    I'd luv to see Veronica particpating in a state DOT Phase I study intended to explore alterantives for reducing congestion in a heavily traveled urban highway corridor. Could be another classic . . .

  • http://www.soonsorchards.com sharon s

    this is LMAO funny...better than those bits from SNL or elsewhere. AND educational! StreetFilms continues to kick some serious arse.

  • http://flickr.com/antiphonfotos Hart

    Veronica is a total babe, even for a cager.

  • Clarence Eckerson, Jr.

    Todd,

    Wish we could claim it was written, but except for a few ideas/suggestions I had for her, it was all improvised by "Veronica". But thanks for the kudos!

  • http://www.intersection911.org Steve B

    The creative people of streetfilms have done it again! Thanks for this beautiful propaganda.

  • Clarence Eckerson, Jr.

    Steve,

    "Beautiful Propaganda"???

    What a wonderful term....

  • John McNary

    A cheap Samantha Bee wannabee.

  • http://www.bikebike.ca BikeBike

    So excellent!

    I cannot wait to see what she has tp say next. Will she ever actually ride a bike?

  • http://i.feedtacoma.com/Erik/ Erik B.

    Another great video from Veronica. We featured the video in Tacoma:

    http://i.feedtacoma.com/Erik/tacomas-complete-streets-program-peril-001/

    Thanks Streetfilms!

  • basil

    This is lame, LHAAAM even for agent provocative levels. But it would work for SNL.
    Going on to watch Crowder, who can pull this stuff off.

  • Len Maniace

    Wonderful... Best bits: "This isn't Italy, This isn't a piazza" and when she encourages cars to ignore lightweight bollards and turn into pedestrian zone. Keep them coming!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.livablestreets.com/people/chongkwang Jim Reid

    This is great!!! sadly it seems that most Americans seem to share this view when they go to vote for public transit / smart growth densification plans

  • http://identi.ca/elecnix Nicolas

    LMAO

  • Edward

    She's still hot...c'mon guys!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Hart-Noecker/100001623066825 Hart Noecker

    I screened this for a group of livable streets activists last night who were dying laughing.

  • hellokitty

    that's Kate McKinnon! now a cast member on SNL. it would be cool to see her play this character as a recurring skit on SNL.